Lesssons from my inner obstacles

The scariest and at the same time the most inspiring discovery I had in my journey of self-improvement was that I am my own limitations. The biggest roadblocks don’t come from others, society or the universe but myself. I put them in my own way. 

Photo by me

This week I struggled. I withdrew to myself, and wanted to avoid physical interaction as much as possible. So I called into work and made up a stomach bug so that I could work from home. But the bug was in my head.

What were the triggers?

I know I have to stop these reactive emotions, negative thoughts because for me it’s a slippery slope.

Thus during my weekly evaluation I devoted some time to figure out what lessons can I draw from this week, what challenges have I put in my own way.

According to this article here, there are 5 types of innter obstacles we sabotage ourselves with most frequently:

  1. Approval of others
  2. Insecurity
  3. Holding onto the past
  4. Lack of confidence
  5. Over-criticism

As I went over them one by one, I almost immediately discarded the first: after all I live an individualistic life, I don’t want kids or career, I have moved to other countries, it really shouldn’t be a worry, right? But it is.

It is in fact one of my biggest problems because I realised I didn’t want to go to work because I’m not “in” with any of the crowds, I don’t belong to any of the groups. To be blunt, I am alone and I’m not close to anyone.

It’s of course not their fault, it’s down to me. Since I started to work there, I never had the courage to approach the others, to open up or spend time with them.

I am holding on to the past because I’ve never been the soul of the party and it’s always been hard for me to make friends.

I don’t have confidence because I’m overly critical with myself. I don’t really believe that it’s worth for others to make friends with me.

Rethink fear

These inner obstacles make up the cage of my own spirit – I built them and it’s up to me what to do with it. Do I want to stay inside or am I ready for an adventure outside?

What if this time everything will go well?

What if I’ll find meaningful connections that will enrich my life, challenge my thinking, help me grow in unexpected ways?

What if I can enjoy the process of going limitless no matter what the results will be?

What if I’ll take this day by day, conversation by conversation, making the most of it each time?

What if I take this opportunity to grow?

The possibilities are endless outside of this cage. I’m ready to go and discover them like I would another country.

Photo by me
Reader’s question:

What inner obstacles did you encounter this week?

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. dweezer19 says:

    All valid observations. I can empathize. Since I must work to make a living at this point and it forces me into group situations I began to live by two tennents. 1) Fake it till you make it. I just join in inspite of many of my own blocks, fears or reservations. I pretend I belong. When it is too much I just find my own quiet place. I find blending easier now and am less reclusive although I still often feel like I am waiting to be called home to my own planet. Lol 2) I really AM ‘my own worst enemy’. Most of us are. But allowing myself to sabotage any creative success was ridiculous. So I am stepping out inspite of fear and realizing it is not as harsh ‘out there’ as it is ‘in here’. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Those are very good approached and I would totally agree, people are rarely that harsh to each other as we are to ourselves.

      Liked by 1 person

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