Challenge of the week: B for Being seen 

It is often I wish I were invisible. Not for the superhero or curiosity reason – simply because it would be the ultimate hiding. It’s hard for me when people see me – I always think they judge me, and I always concur that it’s with good reason. (Nobody is as hard on me as I am on myself.)

During the commute I always agonise that I take more space than your average traveller. I feel like I don’t have the right to do so because I am taking it away from someone else. I feel like everyone around me is looking at me thinking the same.

When I have to speak in a group setting, even if I know it’s important, useful, I feel the others’ eyes on me judging how I dress, how I speak, my pronunciation, my manner, my personality. Therefore I do what I can to avoid these situations. I make myself quiet, try to blend in wearing black (grey, brown) not to call attention to myself.

But what does this approach achieve? I won’t be smaller, I won’t be more native, I won’t be more beautiful no matter how much I wish. I cannot hide from people. Nor should I want to. I have just as much right to be here, to take up the space, time as anyone else.

It won’t change who I am if people see me. Even if they love me, even if they hate me, I’m still the same Andi. That’s the only thing I can and should be. Watch me this week doing exactly that.

  • Sharing how I feel with my family
  • Standing out with a bright hair colour
  • Being open about what I eat
  • Spoken word video
  • Extreme honesty

***

In the meantime, I’d love to know if you ever have the same feeling. Do you ever shy away from being seen?

As part of the A to Z challenge I take daily challenges in real life in order to expand my comfort zone working with a specific type of fear every week. This week it’s all about the fear of being seen. The results, lessons are presented for you lovingly and honestly, hope you’ll come along!

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66 Comments Add yours

  1. scr4pl80 says:

    I don’t really hide from people but I’m not fond of being the center of attention either. I certainly know how you feel, perhaps not as strongly. Good post!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Janet, sounds like you have found your balance in this area, that’s brilliant!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Deb Atwood says:

    What a lovely post! Good tips for anyone who feels this way (and we all do at some point or other). Would love to see a picture of your bright hair color!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Deb, I will definitely share a photo when the colour is done!

      Like

  3. Marquessa says:

    Beautiful! Looking forward to whay you have planned!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you, hope they’ll work 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Geraint Isitt says:

    Andi …
    This will shock people who know we now, but I still wish to be invisible at times. I had a terrible stutter growing up, and once went nearly two years without speaking to a person outside of family. If I could have hidden I would have. Baby steps. And the knowledge that people find it easier to criticize than complement should always make you feel better about yourself.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you for sharing this Geraint, it really helps see that things like that can be overcome. Not just like an abstract concept but in the life of real people. So I’m grateful for your honesty.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Geraint Isitt says:

        No worries. We need to share strength as well

        Like

  5. Oliana says:

    I used to feel self-conscious in groups settings but that changed in time. Great post. I think you might enjoy my post for Song Lyric Sunday. The song may motivate you 🙂

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Oliana, I will look it up for sure – music is a great motivator for me and I’m always happy to find new ones ☺

      Like

  6. gayatrikedar says:

    Beautiful post Andi, love your honesty and the way you are facing your demons. It reminded me of a dear friend who resembles you in the way that she wishes to be as invisible as possible in public, always worried about that others may be judging her based on what she says, does, wears or for that matter stand/sit. Kudos to you for being courageous enough to be bold and courageous to be yourself. Look forward to more posts from you.

    Name : Gayatri Gadre
    Blog : Be young 4ever
    #AtoZChallenge Theme : Travel (off the beaten track)
    B for : Bath, a romantic city

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Gayatri, it sure is a work on progress, step by step but I also find it so fulfilling to see how lighter the load becomes every day. Hope your friend can experience it too.

      Like

  7. Nilanjana Bose says:

    I don’t hide, but I’m not fond of having the limelight focussed on me either. All of us in some way or other try to ‘blend in’ most of the time, depending on the context.

    The hair colour sounds lovely!

    Best,
    Nilanjana
    From Madly-in-Verse

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Nilanjana, I’m glad you saw a little bit of yourself in what I wrote 💚

      Like

  8. Suzie says:

    I can definitely relate to this. I always think of myself as the ‘Non Player Character’ in a video game – the nameless, brown-haired villager who provides a single line of wallpaper speech.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Oh wow, I’ve never thought of that comparison lol. It actually reminded me of a tattoo I want to get: “My life, my story, my words.” To remind me I don’t have to be like anyone else or follow anyone’s rules.

      Like

  9. kaykuala h says:

    It is quite true Andi! Most times one wants not to be bothered by others. One feels comfortable on being alone. It is only natural when one is not familiar with the surroundings.! But it is just temporary!

    Hank

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Hi Hank, thank you for dropping by! I agree, it’s OK if it’s temporary and I’m sure everyone feels so from time to time. The problem is when it’s a constant occurrence.

      Like

  10. I am quite an introvert and mostly avoid the social situations just for my own comfort … It gets tiring to be seen and it feels uncomfortable, but one has to push through those comforts to get through.
    I can relate to wanting to be invisible … in fact, I feel quite relaxed at tourist destinations … In midst of so many people from so many places gathered together, I feel almost invisible in a free kind of way.
    I should also try to do the same for a week or so. That would be a good practice!
    I am glad I read this!
    Thanks for sharing 🙂
    Cheers!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Hi Karnika, thank you for the kind comment! It’s true, it’s easy to blend in with a big crowd, as counter-intuitive it sounds at first. I’d love it if you joined the challenges for a week of course 😉

      Like

  11. When I start to worry about what people are thinking I try to remember some work training I did years ago. The story went you are walking down the street and a person you know stops and says within the discussion your hair looks a bit of a mess today. A week later you are still worrying about it. The person who said it has not thought about it once said since they said it and probably would not remember if asked. So I need to forget it too.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Hi Fran, that’s a great comparison, I love it! It’s like having a splinter and instead of taking out, I push it further in. And then wonder why it hurts so much! Thank you for dropping by!

      Like

  12. Suzy Que says:

    There are somedays when I wish I had Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. I think in all of us that tiny bit of self doubt creeps in now and then. Thanks for dropping by my post.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Hi Suzy, it’s true, just like nobody is always happy, nobody’s always confident either. Thank you for your thoughts!

      Like

  13. I couldn’t be more different! I have to remind myself top stand back, and I try hard not to take over in any situation.

    Click HERE to read my 200-word tale

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Lol Keith, love it that you’re like that!

      Like

  14. Ann says:

    Those are some fun – and practical – ways to push yourself out of your comfort zone and be seen!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Ann, hope I won’t chicken out 😉

      Like

  15. Andi, you seem to have exactly penned down my feelings when I am amidst people. Can absolutely relate to what you have written!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      I’m glad you relate – but then again it’s not a nice feeling so I’m not that glad you suffer from it, too… the good news is that I definitely think it’s workable.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand Andi. I guess being aware of it is the first step. Then we need to work on it. And I genuinely hope we overcome our barrier successfully.🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Miss Andi says:

        Here here! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Karine O says:

    For a long time I’ve felt the way you do and from time to time that feeling comes back but never as strong as it once did. Since then I realized that I do matter, that I do have a say and I do have the right to be be who I am and do what I want.
    I hope your day comes when you start to feel more confident and not care so much about what people think because it is this an indescribable feeling of freedom and I really do believe that you deserve that.
    Keep your chin up high, You are not alone and the world needs to see more of how beautiful you are!

    http://tropicalcolours.blogspot.com.au/

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Karine, I feel like I’m on the right track so I hope I’ll get there one day where you are! Thank you for popping in!

      Like

  17. Being invisible was one of the things I always wished for throughout my school years….but gradually convinced myself that I don’t need the world’s approval to be who I am!!!
    Very well written Andrea!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Miss Andi says:

      That’s the lesson, isn’t it? “I don’t need the world’s approval to be who I am” – beautifully put!

      Like

  18. I am an introvert. Being an introvert is not a crime. 🙂 This is who I am. In a group, I start to speak after spending some time if I feel comfortable (if I feel that people in that group are listeners of a slow speaker like me). Anyway, I am who I am. Great post, Andi. Have a wonderful week.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Sure, being an introvert is great, I love it too. I just don’t like being shy and afraid – it’s too close to anxiety and depression in my case.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am familiar with the feeling. I cannot say that I have overcome this but I can say that I have moved to a “I don’t care” mode.

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Niki says:

    First of all, I want to celebrate with you for your courage, honesty, and vulnerability. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable because I know you’re building your courage, but this is amazing. I love that you’ve found ways to be yourself without apology. I can’t wait to see the hair color and hear how these goals have helped you in taking steps to be more comfortable being seen. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Niki, I love how you guessed that being celebrated is not something I’m comfortable with – you’re good! 😊 thank you for being here! 💚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Niki says:

        Thank you for sharing this part of you 💖💖

        Liked by 1 person

  20. I used to critically judge myself in the past and still do sometimes even now…But nowadays i care less. Maybe its the age and maturity that comes with the age.. i have no idea! I totally understand your emotion in this post.. because i have been there done that!
    Very well written!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      I’m glad to hear you’ve improved, it’s important! Thank you for visiting.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. AK.Prowling says:

    I usually don’t have a problem with being around people, but I hate being in the spotlight if I end up wearing an outfit that doesn’t blend in with the rest. Whilst I enjoy having an audience that would appreciate my work (writing and music), I feel obliged to please people and not draw unnecessary attention. I know it sounds contradictory but that’s exactly how I feel about being seen!

    Great post. Cheers.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      I love the contradiction in this – shows a high level of self-awareness which is awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Marie says:

    The ability to be invisible would be useful at times! It takes a lot of courage to step out of the comfort zone but it comes with great rewards. My “B” post today at The Articulate Image speaks of the same subject!

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Marie, it’s very true. I just checked out your post, very good and I forgot how much I love the word “bashful” 😊

      Like

  23. I think we all feel that way sometimes. Bring on the invisibility cloak. At the same time, I think we all are much more self-aware when others aren’t even noticing us.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Yes, that is such an important point! It’s us who make ourselves self-conscious most of the time, not others. Thanks for the reminder!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Julie says:

    When I was younger I would try to hide. Somewhere along the line that changed. Maybe with experience or accomplishment. One day I just realized I had the right to just as much space on the bus or train as anyone else!

    Like

  25. Anmol Rawat says:

    Everyone does feel like that every now and then. It’s human nature. I guess we all are too much worried about what others might think. What’s important is to let go of that feeling; you should not stick to it because it can then be troublesome. Best wishes for you 🙂

    Like

  26. Joss says:

    Honestly sharing, and steps that support. It was worth coming here to see just that.

    Like

    1. Miss Andi says:

      Thank you Joss!

      Like

  27. Liz Brownlee says:

    I used to when I was a teenager – I had long hair, and I used to wear a floppy hat and keep my hair down in front of my face like curtains, my head down… so I couldn’t be seen! I used to cross the road and go into shops to avoid speaking people or saying hell even if I knew them. I had o self-confidence at all. eventually i did gain confidence – it came with knowledge, and just being a person for a longer amount of time! I think learning to do something, and learning to do it well helps – it gives you a feeling of achievement and pride in yourself, and then things improve from there. hope you continue to feel better and more confident! Liz B is for Alice Guy-Blaché – Visionary and First Female Film Director #A-Z Challenge

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Miss Andi says:

      That’s beautiful Liz, thank you for sharing it!

      Like

  28. Old grey-haired Hippie Lady says:

    I’m with you, Being invisible would be soooooooooooo sneaky.

    Baby Boomers – sheltered from life’s fallout??

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Akilah says:

    I have this thing where I require a lot of validation but don’t actually like to call attention to myself. I’m an oxymoron.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Miss Andi says:

      I struggle with that too, I think it’s the same oxymoron that I read somewhere: shy people are also the most arrogant – they think everyone always watches them. 😉

      Like

  30. Vanessence says:

    Oh yes, very introverted here! Hard as that may seem to believe, seeing as how I blog and all. 🙂 I’ve felt for a long time though that blogging is a way for introverts to socialize without being seen. 🙂

    Like

  31. i enjoy your writing. yea for courage!!! Nancy Thornton from
    Lightheaded

    Like

  32. malisehoney says:

    Lovely post! Would love some feedback on my newest piece ‘look at me now’ 😊 https://malisehoney.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/look-at-me-now/

    Like

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